I'm talking here and now

Day 29!

Motivating song of the day!:  Let's go by calvin harris and ne-yo

"Let’s go!
Make no excuses now
I’m talking here and now
I’m talking here and now

Let’s go!
Your time is running out
I’m talking here and now
I’m talking here and now "

It's almost a full month since I looked in the mirror and decided I had to make a change.  Sure I've had this realization many times before and it always starts off pretty easy the first week or so but I think this is the longest I've ever actually stuck to something and seen results.  It's been a year since I started taking Seroquel and in that year's time I gained 50 pounds at least.  I worked out, I tried weight watchers, I ate less, I did everything I was supposed to with no results.  For the first time in what seems like forever I can actually see something come from my hard work. 

So I go to the gym today and I had taken my adderall but I forgot my wellbutrin.  Turns out I'm a grumpy gym goer if I don't take both.  I was feeling awake, energized, and ready to go but I couldn't help but snarl and growl in my head at a few people.  First there was the guy who kept almost running into me when he jogged past.  I was practically walking against the wall so there was 2 other lanes next to me and he kept brushing past me and I'm like No!  My personal space!  Mine!  I swore if he actually knocked me over I was going to trip him.  Then I walked past the thigh weight machines I wanted to use and there was this really big girl on them with the most awful tattoo covering her leg and she wasn't even using it. She was just sitting there and talking to her friend next to her!  Angry face.  Then I decided I don't like people who read like entire textbooks while walking around the track.  They should get on the treadmill if they're going to read.  I'm making angry faces as I'm typing this.  

Turns out I should take both medications before going to ensure an alert and calming experience xD  To be honest though a small part of my rage motivates me.  Like if I'm going to do something to someone.... I wanna be able to run away XD  or at least be strong enough to stand up for myself.  luhlz.  I have puny little girl arms.  Someday I'll be as tough as the thoughts in my head.