Hurray!

Day late weigh in: 295


Honestly I'm not that bummed out by the gain.  Friday I had Olive Garden for Valentine's Day, I had texas roadhouse with my dad on Saturday, and Sunday I had pizza for game night with my friends.  If I hadn't gained weight I would be worried.  But it's fixable.  Especially since I finished my first day of P90 yesterday (not p90x the one before it) then did cardio for a hour at the gym that night.  Today I did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine and abs on the mat.  I need to start timing my planks because I think I did pretty good today.  My legs are all wobbly and sore but it's good.  They're not even that sore.  They're not like I can't sit down sore it's just more like "oh hey I worked out that muscle today didn't I?" sore.  I don't know if it's just because I'm feeling extremely optimistic but I'm starting to notice my lower stomach ponch is starting to slim down a bit.  

So food.  Let's talk about food for a moment.  I'm trying super hard to go back to gluten free especially after this weekend but I noticed not every gluten I eat does the same thing to me.  Sometimes it doesn't do anything at all.  I know gluten in general isn't that good for you and it can do damage to your body even if you're not sensitive to it.  Right now I'm kinda 75/25 on being gluten free because sometimes it just feels impossible.  It's not a craving or a want it's just like I'm starving and there's a yummy sandwich at the cafe I can eat.  I don't know what to do.  I feel like I'm at a medical stand still.  I can't see any other doctor's or I'll get dropped from Heartland but I mean come on!  I went to Heartland complaining about my arm hurting and they said I had sleep apnea..  Then it turns out it was the blood clot I had that was making my arm hurt.  I don't exactly have the most utmost faith in them.  I just wish I could afford to do a head to toe exam.  Get everything checked out.  Anyways.... Food!  I'm thinking about joining weight watchers again but really I just want to buy the little kit and do it myself.  I have people to hold me accountable I just want a different way of counting calories then actual calories.  I feel so upset when I eat a handful of grapes and watch 100+ calories leave my tracker.  I'd rather feel good about myself for making healthy choices.  I'm also afraid of under eating if I go about my business as usual.  With the new medication I'm on I don't have that overwhelming feeling to eat all the time and sometimes I just forget and don't do it for a while.  It'll get better I know but I just wish I had a better grasp on everything and could see more results faster.  Don't we all though.